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Early on Tuesday morning I was at the airport, seeing my sister off. Online check in made it such that we didn’t have to queue for hours and hours, so after baggage drop off, we went in search of something to eat. We ended up in Café Italia (or something – it was too early to be fully conscious) and had very nice croissants and teas.
So it came time to say goodbye. I was struggling not to cry, being the pathetic cry baby that I am. Just to delay the final moment a bit longer, we went to the loo. Funny how even at that time of the morning, you still have to queue for the women’s loos…I swear, we spend to much time in there, it’s embarrassing. Anyhow, while I was standing there thinking of how I really shouldn’t give in and cry, this woman walked out of one of the cubicles. I recognised her uniform to be a Wetherspoons one.
To my near heart attack shock, she walked out of the cubicle, after I had heard various forms of scraping and groaning, and just sauntered out of the bathroom. SHE DIDN’T WASH HER HANDS!!! Oh my goodness, I was instantly awake. I thought I would faint. I thought of all the meals I’d eaten at various Wetherspoons pubs, and all the future meals I was likely to have there, and then I felt sick because clearly, they could very well have been handled by an urban savage who doesn’t know that it’s UNACCEPTABLE not to wash your hands after you’ve been to the loo.
You don’t expect that I swallowed my shock did you? As soon as I had finished (and washed my hands twice to make up for her lack of personal hygiene) I marched straight into the Wetherspoons and reported her to her manager. I also reported her to the bathroom cleaning lady who tut-tutted. I was being stroppy, you say? I beg to differ. There are very few things more disgusting/repulsive/unforgivable/offensive/torture-worthy than a fully grown woman who has poor standards of hygiene. Eww. I feel sick just recounting this. This is how it went:
Me: Err, hi, are you the manager?
Manager: That’s me!
Me: Hi, sorry, this is going to sound weird, but I was just in the bathroom, and one of your staff – that lady wiping tables over there – she didn’t wash her hands when she finished in there.
Manager: Well I can safely tell you that the first thing she did when she got behind the bar was wash her hands; it’s part of our staff policy to wash hands as soon as we get behind the bar.
Me: That’s fair enough, I appreciate that, but you have to understand that for your customers, it doesn’t inspire confidence in your company to see such poor standards of personal hygiene from the staff of a food serving establishment. I’m now having convulsions thinking of the number of times I could have been served a pint or a steak or a chocolate cake by someone who went to the loo, amid gurgly noises, and didn’t wash her hands…I feel defiled!
Manager: Yeah, I understand, but she definitely washed her hands.
Me: Well, I just thought you should know.
Manager: Thanks, I’ll still speak to her about it, though.
Me: Thanks!
And I left. Guess who’s not going to Wetherspoons anytime soon? One because, I’ve been to Wetherspoons countless times, and the staff don’t always wash their hands once they get behind the bar, whatever the company thinks its policy is. I’d know if they did; it’s the sort of thing I notice. Two, because last time my sister and I had their breakfast, the eggs were flaming orange and I’m now inclined to think (in retrospect) it’s because they were contaminated. So what makes this time any different? Why should I believe that she washed her hands when she got behind the bar. After all, the poor manager had to say that, it was his get out of jail free card.
Notice to people out there – if I catch you being a dirty urban savage, I will report you! You can’t poison the rest of us who enjoy eating out, just because you can’t be bothered to do the right thing. And rinsing your finger tips under a cold tap isn’t enough either. You need to WASH those hands under a HOT tap with SOAP! And then you have to hold your hands up and not touch anything, like surgeons when they’re scrubbing in for surgery. Any questions on how to do this can be answered by watching a few episodes of Grey’s Anatomy or any other medical dramas. Parents, please teach your kids these things, or else, they’ll be judged for being lax and germ-ridden.
Uuuuugh. I am so grossed out. I shall stop typing now because I feel myself getting meaner and more disparaging….Maybe I’ll put together an alternative guide to dining in London. It’ll be called Where Not to Eat Because You Are Likely To Get Popped Off By Malicious Pathogens, and the list will be the names of restaurants where I’ve spied on the staff and discovered their appalling habits. Any establishment that doesn’t appear on the list, people will know it’s safe to eat at (for the time being, at least, or until I catch them trying to kill off their clientele with toilet bacteria). Good idea, don’t you think?
So it came time to say goodbye. I was struggling not to cry, being the pathetic cry baby that I am. Just to delay the final moment a bit longer, we went to the loo. Funny how even at that time of the morning, you still have to queue for the women’s loos…I swear, we spend to much time in there, it’s embarrassing. Anyhow, while I was standing there thinking of how I really shouldn’t give in and cry, this woman walked out of one of the cubicles. I recognised her uniform to be a Wetherspoons one.
To my near heart attack shock, she walked out of the cubicle, after I had heard various forms of scraping and groaning, and just sauntered out of the bathroom. SHE DIDN’T WASH HER HANDS!!! Oh my goodness, I was instantly awake. I thought I would faint. I thought of all the meals I’d eaten at various Wetherspoons pubs, and all the future meals I was likely to have there, and then I felt sick because clearly, they could very well have been handled by an urban savage who doesn’t know that it’s UNACCEPTABLE not to wash your hands after you’ve been to the loo.
You don’t expect that I swallowed my shock did you? As soon as I had finished (and washed my hands twice to make up for her lack of personal hygiene) I marched straight into the Wetherspoons and reported her to her manager. I also reported her to the bathroom cleaning lady who tut-tutted. I was being stroppy, you say? I beg to differ. There are very few things more disgusting/repulsive/unforgivable/offensive/torture-worthy than a fully grown woman who has poor standards of hygiene. Eww. I feel sick just recounting this. This is how it went:
Me: Err, hi, are you the manager?
Manager: That’s me!
Me: Hi, sorry, this is going to sound weird, but I was just in the bathroom, and one of your staff – that lady wiping tables over there – she didn’t wash her hands when she finished in there.
Manager: Well I can safely tell you that the first thing she did when she got behind the bar was wash her hands; it’s part of our staff policy to wash hands as soon as we get behind the bar.
Me: That’s fair enough, I appreciate that, but you have to understand that for your customers, it doesn’t inspire confidence in your company to see such poor standards of personal hygiene from the staff of a food serving establishment. I’m now having convulsions thinking of the number of times I could have been served a pint or a steak or a chocolate cake by someone who went to the loo, amid gurgly noises, and didn’t wash her hands…I feel defiled!
Manager: Yeah, I understand, but she definitely washed her hands.
Me: Well, I just thought you should know.
Manager: Thanks, I’ll still speak to her about it, though.
Me: Thanks!
And I left. Guess who’s not going to Wetherspoons anytime soon? One because, I’ve been to Wetherspoons countless times, and the staff don’t always wash their hands once they get behind the bar, whatever the company thinks its policy is. I’d know if they did; it’s the sort of thing I notice. Two, because last time my sister and I had their breakfast, the eggs were flaming orange and I’m now inclined to think (in retrospect) it’s because they were contaminated. So what makes this time any different? Why should I believe that she washed her hands when she got behind the bar. After all, the poor manager had to say that, it was his get out of jail free card.
Notice to people out there – if I catch you being a dirty urban savage, I will report you! You can’t poison the rest of us who enjoy eating out, just because you can’t be bothered to do the right thing. And rinsing your finger tips under a cold tap isn’t enough either. You need to WASH those hands under a HOT tap with SOAP! And then you have to hold your hands up and not touch anything, like surgeons when they’re scrubbing in for surgery. Any questions on how to do this can be answered by watching a few episodes of Grey’s Anatomy or any other medical dramas. Parents, please teach your kids these things, or else, they’ll be judged for being lax and germ-ridden.
Uuuuugh. I am so grossed out. I shall stop typing now because I feel myself getting meaner and more disparaging….Maybe I’ll put together an alternative guide to dining in London. It’ll be called Where Not to Eat Because You Are Likely To Get Popped Off By Malicious Pathogens, and the list will be the names of restaurants where I’ve spied on the staff and discovered their appalling habits. Any establishment that doesn’t appear on the list, people will know it’s safe to eat at (for the time being, at least, or until I catch them trying to kill off their clientele with toilet bacteria). Good idea, don’t you think?
7 comments:
I'm always amazed at how naive people are (for example the number of people who didn't appear to realise that most documentaries are largely staged). What you see in the front of restaurants rarely reflects what goes on behind. If you can't live with the thought of food being dropped on the floor and served, salad being washed poorly or not at all etc, you have to eat at home.
A friend of mine worked at Heinz and told me that people regularly used to spit in the soup, so to be on the safe side you may want to avoid all processed food.
Ugh! I've heard you're story. My 'ugh' is more for the heinz comment. I think this is one of those times when the term 'ignorance is bliss' is appropraite. What I don't know can't hurt me but if I get to know, well, I'm with you. The hygenically challenged person in question would be on their way to the dole office. It really isn't that difficult to wash hands and as for food being assaulted etc, I'm a firm believer in the whole 'do unto others' ideology. I wouldn't want my food spat into so I wouldn't do it to someone else's. If everyone lived this way, we'd all get along fine (and be very clean).
Oh my gosh. I'm so tired and didn't preview or read through my comment. I apologise for the bad grammar. I'm normally much more vigilant about such things.
LOL @ "If I catch you being a dirty urban savage," You sound exactly like me!! This is so scary! And we're doing exactly the same things - I'm interning at Granta soon!
Your dad told me to look this up yesterday... I bet you have no clue who this is, and I don't think you'll be able to guess from my blog. I completely forgot you were living in London all this time you know? Will get your number off him and call when I get back Xxx
Iselema, i agree; on this issue, gimme a large helping of ignorance please! But that said, it was quite a distressing experience! When i got on my flight i hoped and prayed that the air hostesses would spare me their germs!
Apparently, we say "Flight Attendant" now, dear...
Oof, you've made me feel quite sick...even before I read this, I've started taking disinfectant wipes to the bathroom with me. Going out in public is a scary thing. My sister doesn't allow you to sit on her bed in your jeans if you've been out and about the London Underground. How's that strike you?
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