Graduating from university is one of the best experiences of my life, better, even, than those lovely themed birthday parties of circa age 6 and age 7 fame. Graduation has provided the most beautiful climate in which all the aunties’ and uncles’ generous streaks can flourish. Not to say that they weren’t generous before…it’s just a trip to be getting all these gifts and gratuities when it’s not a birthday and it’s not Christmas. I think I should graduate more often. Ahem!
So anyway, yesterday morning, my cousin called. Her mum had bought us all tickets to see Lauryn Hill live in concert. Sweet, I thought. The concert was to start for 7. We were standing for three hours before Ms Hill deigned to make an appearance on stage, which didn’t go down well with me. Being new to this whole working week thing, my Sunday evenings are really precious, and I couldn’t help but blame her this morning when I woke up and a desire to molest the snooze button overwhelmed me.
But that’s beside the point. What the point is, is that I lived to see the day when I would agree with my Dad’s opinions about music. He’s long maintained that most modern music is flawed, because live performances never hold up to the studio mastered versions. In his view, it should be the other way round. Out of respect for Lauryn Hill, I’m having difficulty confessing that it was crap…but you go right ahead and put two and two together. Imagine if I didn’t have this overwhelming sympathy for Lauryn Hill, and she was some other random pop floozy, prancing round on stage with in a weird wig and a mac. Imagine what I’d have said then. But I can’t say it, so you’ll have to make the words up in your head, because I won’t have her slandered. I won’t.
After the last gig (i. e. not Lauryn’s, the one before) I went home and deleted all my music by that artiste, because he was a fraud. He played his CD and cursed along to it. That’s not what I paid for. Lauryn’s was marginally better, though not great. She kind of shout-rasp-sang along to a live band, which was her only salvation. Yes she had a sore throat, but I dare say she’d have given a better show overall, if the sound technician weren’t both deaf and incompetent in equal measure. The poor woman had to shout over the music constantly. She kept motioning to him to say that she couldn’t hear herself. Rather than adjust the volumes, he adjusted the Pringle jumper on his chest and nodded his head as though this was the culmination of his life’s work.
Apparently, there are some explosives that work through sound. They reach such unfathomable decibels that they cause matter to implode and turn to dust. This might have been what Mr Sound Guy was trying to achieve. As a result of his deafness, here is a list of places in my body where I felt pain:
kidneys
T5 lumbar vertebrae
calves
lymph nodes
frontal lobe
base of my neck
I also suffered from extreme thirst.
I don’t know what’s happening to live music, but I shall stop going. Does anyone else find that they come away disappointed? I don’t want to have to throw away all my music because the artistes have discredited their own worth. Now, unless it’s a small private gig with competent technicians and artistes who still remember what projection and mic technique are, count me out. The only live gig’s I’ll be attending will be the ones I co-ordinate on my sound system. My layman’s manipulation of graphic equalizer buttons has never yet left me with the sort of symptoms I experienced yesterday. If you've gone to a really bad gig, or have anything to say about live vs. studio music, I'd love to hear about it in your comments.
Nevertheless, I still made it to work on time. Phew!
So anyway, yesterday morning, my cousin called. Her mum had bought us all tickets to see Lauryn Hill live in concert. Sweet, I thought. The concert was to start for 7. We were standing for three hours before Ms Hill deigned to make an appearance on stage, which didn’t go down well with me. Being new to this whole working week thing, my Sunday evenings are really precious, and I couldn’t help but blame her this morning when I woke up and a desire to molest the snooze button overwhelmed me.
But that’s beside the point. What the point is, is that I lived to see the day when I would agree with my Dad’s opinions about music. He’s long maintained that most modern music is flawed, because live performances never hold up to the studio mastered versions. In his view, it should be the other way round. Out of respect for Lauryn Hill, I’m having difficulty confessing that it was crap…but you go right ahead and put two and two together. Imagine if I didn’t have this overwhelming sympathy for Lauryn Hill, and she was some other random pop floozy, prancing round on stage with in a weird wig and a mac. Imagine what I’d have said then. But I can’t say it, so you’ll have to make the words up in your head, because I won’t have her slandered. I won’t.
After the last gig (i. e. not Lauryn’s, the one before) I went home and deleted all my music by that artiste, because he was a fraud. He played his CD and cursed along to it. That’s not what I paid for. Lauryn’s was marginally better, though not great. She kind of shout-rasp-sang along to a live band, which was her only salvation. Yes she had a sore throat, but I dare say she’d have given a better show overall, if the sound technician weren’t both deaf and incompetent in equal measure. The poor woman had to shout over the music constantly. She kept motioning to him to say that she couldn’t hear herself. Rather than adjust the volumes, he adjusted the Pringle jumper on his chest and nodded his head as though this was the culmination of his life’s work.
Apparently, there are some explosives that work through sound. They reach such unfathomable decibels that they cause matter to implode and turn to dust. This might have been what Mr Sound Guy was trying to achieve. As a result of his deafness, here is a list of places in my body where I felt pain:
kidneys
T5 lumbar vertebrae
calves
lymph nodes
frontal lobe
base of my neck
I also suffered from extreme thirst.
I don’t know what’s happening to live music, but I shall stop going. Does anyone else find that they come away disappointed? I don’t want to have to throw away all my music because the artistes have discredited their own worth. Now, unless it’s a small private gig with competent technicians and artistes who still remember what projection and mic technique are, count me out. The only live gig’s I’ll be attending will be the ones I co-ordinate on my sound system. My layman’s manipulation of graphic equalizer buttons has never yet left me with the sort of symptoms I experienced yesterday. If you've gone to a really bad gig, or have anything to say about live vs. studio music, I'd love to hear about it in your comments.
Nevertheless, I still made it to work on time. Phew!
4 comments:
I have read other reviews of Lauryn's concert and you are being really kind. The others did not mince their words.
I must say though, I have been disappointed by some live gigs, but have also gone to some where the artist sounded even better than the CD. I may just have been lucky. I think live gigs serve to distinguish between the really gifted and the average.
And that sound guy sounds like a right idiot.
Lauryn put on an excellent show during her Miseducation world tour in 1999. So she's capable but life seems to have gotten the best of her. I listen to a lot of live music and there are a lot of incredible artists still thriving in that format. They just aren't necessarily famous.
Take heart. A select few artistes can still do live gigs and pull them off well. The last time I heard Lauryn Hill live she sounded a hot mess :-(
It’s such a shame that Ms Hill’s rep is going downhill, although it’s not really surprising. Fame is one of those things that takes you high, and then crashes kamikaze style. Can you give us a few names to look out for on the down-low-still-capable-of-doing-a-live-gig-scene? Grassy-arse…especially if that list includes Glen Lewis, in whom I have unshakeable faith…ahem!
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