Physicists from: http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/sea0215l.jpg
Nerds from: http://pisarek.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/nerds.gif
Aaaaaaargh. I hate child prodigies You know why? Because they make me look bad! Here I am at 21 struggling through the characterization in my first I-hope-someone-will-publish-this- novel, and there are 14 year olds composing music and conducting the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. Violinists who played Royal Albert Hall at 13. Actors and actresses who made millions before they were 5. All those gormless liitle people who at 7 are the Supermodels my friends and I will bever be. Disgusting. Absolutely sad.
I bet they have no friends and are like, socially awkward. I bet they have no conversational skills. I bet they’re all short-sighted in their left eye and long-sighted in their right eye. I bet they masturbate and can’t hold a plate of food level. I bet they have no idea how to relax and have a good time…normally. I bet you they’re suicidal, and have ugly toe nails. I bet their sense of humour is skewed. I bet they talk to their goldfish and eat paper. I bet they make bad house guests. I bet they can’t spell. Fancy that huh, they can’t spell? I bet they wouldn’t know how to use a can opener, or sew on a button, or drive a manual car. I bet they eat their bogey before they go to sleep. I bet they snack on old carpet and smell funny! I bet they wet the bed.
I think I'll go to bed now. So what if I’m sulking? I’ve been stuck in the library doing my dissertation for the last three weeks, and found out with a shock this morning that I had no clean jeans. So I had to stuff myself into an old pair of cargo pants, which have now grown considerably smaller in the wash…ahem! So anyway, I walked around today with a smile plastered to my face and my crotch aching like an injury. It really wasn’t funny. Tight trousers are bad. Do not wear them.
Which brings me to my next point. Having experienced for the first time what it feels like to wear trousers too small, and I’m a girl, can we not suppose, by deduction, that men who wear them are lacking something? I think we can.
If anyone has any ideas on how best to keep these awfully talented children from stealing my shine, please drop me a line.
OK so I'm tired. Good night!
Friday 11 May 2007
The Prodigy Problem
Posted by Emz at 2:29 am
Labels: Jealousy and Other Malodorous Vices, Rants and Righteous Indignation
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4 comments:
I don't know. Personally, I'm not overly fond of child prodigies, (my anally grammatically correct brain is telling me that might be spelt wrong) but so long as it's what they want to do and weren't forced into it by pushy parents then leave them to it. I think we need gifted children to make lazy and stupid adults feel ashamed of themselves and want to do better. You know? It's just me? Ok then.
Don't worry about it. Child prodigies have just as much difficulty adjusting to the "real world" as the rest of us. You know how you were once the apple of your parents' eye and now you feel like just one more anonymous person? Same for child prodigies, except they used to be the apple of everyone's eye. Every experience you have between now and publication day will enrich your writing, and you'll be able to go on enriching until you're 90.
Why thank you, ReadyReckoner, very encouraging remarks there. But child prodigies still suck big time :) hahaha! I'm going to have a look at your blog in more detail later.
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